After "ZOMBIE 3", did we really think that the "ZOMBIE" series could get any worse? Upon watching the laugh-riot that is "ZOMBIE 4", I can happily answer that question with a "Yes". The opening credits are probably the best thing about this movie that screams "straight-to-video", red block credits against a black background that slide off-screen to the soundtrack of some 80's "Survivor"-wannabes singing about something to do with the 'nightlife'. Anyway, the opening scenes of "ZOMBIE 4" will set the laugh meter right off. We have some high-school production set that is supposed to resemble a 'cave' with some black guy chanting incantations from "The Book Of The Dead" (how do we know this? It says it right there on the front cover in black permanent marker!). In the background, we have some black woman with long frizzy hair running around doing jazz-ballet moves from "CATS" in some weird "new wave"-type dance. She pauses every few minutes to shriek, which is supposed to infer that she's gone bonkers. Suddenly, an 'animated' light (the bulk of the special effects budget went into this one scene) appears and floats into her open mouth as she screams and the next thing you know, she's floating down some hole that opens up in the floor, "slow-motion"-style (LOL). A group of white people appear brandishing guns who start accusing the black priest of bringing death and destruction to the people of the island. The priest blames the white people (who are apparently Doctors) of killing his wife and daughter and that they will now face their wrath when they come back from the dead as 'flesh eating' demons. One gun happy white man shoots the priest, and before you know it, the black girl who just went down the hole is back, as a demon! With huge white plastic fangs (they look like Halloween props) and green juice that she dribbles freely from her ridiculously over-stuffed mouth, she chases the white folk around the caves where she kills them one by one in hilarious fashions. She throws one guy, face-first into the wall, another guy, she slowly rips his face off. Two guys, she corners in front of a locked gate where the camera pans away so we can hear screams and see red paint being splashed onto the wall. In another unrelated scene, we see a couple and their daughter running around in the forest, pausing to look back every few seconds while the camera dogs them from behind. The fog machine has been set on "MAX" as they scurry under palm fronds and jump logs. When they pause for a breather, the father tells them to wait there (that's right, it's the perfect moment to split up!) while he checks out the surroundings. A zombie in a habit shows up and takes a bite out of the father's neck. The mother gives some amulet to the daughter and makes her run off while she grabs a yardstick to 'take care of business'. (Check out the serious look on her face as she turns around to seek revenge! - LOL) Needless to say, her 'helping the situation' is pretty useless and she too is pulled down and eaten alive by several more zombies. Flash-forward twenty years, and the little girl (who somehow escaped the island!) is back with a boatload of "Soldiers of Fortune" and her girlfriend. Their boat is 'sucked' towards the island (the motor goes out and they lose control of the steering) where they are grounded on zombie island. Also on the island are three backpackers (where did they come from again?) who wander right into the cave where the original slaughter took place. Gay porn star Jeff Stryker tries his hand at 'serious acting' where he walks around the entire time in an open shirt that reveals his sweaty pecs and a clueless look on his face. After Stryker gets the brilliant idea to read from "The Book Of The Dead", zombies appear and his two friends are butchered by zombies inside the cave while he manages to escape. He teams up with the other people who are taking refuge inside some hospital shack (I guess it's the original settlement where the Doctors from the opening scene of the movie are from). One of their group have already been munched on by a zombie. He slowly deteriorates and before you know it, has become a zombie himself. Outside of the building stand another group of zombies who don't move because there is some sort of candle arrangement inside that prevents them from attacking. Of course, one of the guys gets the brilliant idea to blow them out, and the zombies start their bloodshed! The guy that got bitten bites the girlfriend who turns into a zombie. She then bites another guy who runs outside and hides behind a tree. He too becomes a zombie. He attacks another man inside a church by biting his arm. (Do these zombies not even eat people? All they do is take one bite and then walk off!) That guy too turns into a zombie. Before you know it, there are only three people left, Jeff Stryker, the girl from the beginning of the movie and some black guy who you just know is going to die. He in turn sacrifices himself by blowing up the hospital shack with a hand grenade, along with all of their zombie friends. Stryker and the girl run back to the cave where they try to turn around the chain of events by 'closing the door to Hell'. The cave has now become some sort of a prop set with green spotlights and a red smoke-filled hole. The girl looks into a mirror where she starts peeling chunks of flesh off her face, followed by the plucking out of her eyeball. Stryker meanwhile gets a zombie hand driven through his torso from behind that thrusts in and out (for no apparent reason). As Stryker sinks to the ground with a dramatic look of horror on his face, the camera pans on the girl whose face has fully been removed (complete with a new hairstyle) and now resembles that of a zombie. Closing credits appear and you're glad that the hurting has stopped. The zombies in this movie were quick-moving like those in "ZOMBIE 3". Except instead of wearing Asian martial-arts garb, these ones wear habits, usually with a strip of material hanging over their face to skimp on the make-up budget. The definition of "zombies" in this movie isn't the fact that they are "flesh eating creatures re-animated from the dead", they are just people who run around trying to kill people. While most run after their targets, there is also the occasional 'slow-rising' zombie (check out the one near the end that comes out of the floor boards). As some of the zombies rise from their shallow graves (why are all of the 'dead people' buried in one-inch dirt graves?), the sound of 'crumpling paper' can be heard as they make their way out of the dirt. I think the funniest scene was when "Tommy" turns into a zombie and suddenly grows 'black claws' when he grabs one of the girls' faces from behind a wall. How are movies like this trash even considered for a DVD release? They were best when they were only available as 'hard-to-find' videos that were left-over in the dusty Horror section from the 1980's at the local video store. Regardless, "ZOMBIE 4" is a miss. It's not even worth it just for the opening scene, which is in fact one of the funniest things I've ever seen in a long time. My Rating - 1 out of 10 The boatload
Action / Horror
Action / Horror
A woman goes back to the island where her parents were killed. They had been working on a cure for cancer and accidentally raised the dead by angering a voodoo priest. With the woman is a ...
January 28, 2021